


The Winner Takes It All

by Nillen



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Divorce, Romance, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-11 17:57:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2077620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nillen/pseuds/Nillen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haruka and Makoto met again a year after their divorce; still fresh from the separation, and still very much in love with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Free! .
> 
> Hi, guys. This is my first time posting a story for this fandom, so please forgive me for any wrongs in this story. -smiles- Before you go through the story, let me state the warnings first.
> 
> Warnings: Alternate Universe (Future), Un-betaed (sorry for any grammatical errors), tints of OOC-ness, yaoi.
> 
> In this universe, gay marriage is already legalized in Japan.
> 
> Enjoy the story. :)

 

"My flight is at 7 pm. I'll reach Iwatobi the latest by 10." Haruka quietly murmured into the phone call, and he could hear Nagisa's excited chatter as the response. The blond was so excited when Haruka announced at the last minute that he would be coming back to attend Gou's wedding ceremony. Apparently it had been quite some time since the last time he returned to Iwatobi. It was not that he didn't miss the place, but Haruka was too busy to do so.

Furthermore, going back to Iwatobi was not a good idea when he was still-

Haruka blinked his eyes, and shook his head viciously. He didn't have time to think about this – petty – thing. He needed to finish packing for the one week holiday, and gently he put the phone down on the bed while pressing the loudspeaker button. Nagisa's voice echoed in his large bedroom as the blond continued his chatters and Haruka with his packing.

While absent-mindedly listening to the blond, Haruka finished with his task and turned to look around the room in case he forgot anything. Then his eyes caught the picture of him and his ex-husband together; the taller man laughing and Haruka himself looked away, but the arm that wrapped around his shoulders was firm and loving at the same time. Haruka had placed the picture frame on the nightstand, so that every night before he went to sleep, he could see them together and dream that everything was fine once again.

Staring at the picture for one whole minute, Haruka blinked his eyes slowly, and then reached out to hold onto the picture frame. He wondered if the brunette would be coming to Gou's wedding as well, and his grip on the frame tightened. Quietly, Haruka pulled out the picture from the frame, and unzip his luggage. He slipped the picture carefully in between his clothes; his blue eyes felt warm at the thought of leaving the picture behind and not bringing it with him.

Once Nagisa had stopped with his talking, Haruka took the phone close to him and took a deep breath. He wanted to ask the question but then the blond cut him off.

"Ohh Haru-chan! I have to go now! Rei-chan is being impatient again-"

"I heard that!" Rei's voice was loud in the background, and Haruka heard Nagisa giggled happily.

"-And we need to see the bride like, right now, so we're kind of running late and I need-"

"Nagisa-kun!" Rei's voice again and Haruka stifled the need to sigh at Nagisa's childish behavior, although he was now 23 years old.

"Okay, okayyy! So bye for now, Haru-chan! I'll see you tonight, okay!"

With the call being ended, Haruka found himself standing in the middle of his master bedroom, one hand on his phone and another fisted at his side; miserable and lonely as he could ever be.

* * *

When he stepped out from the train, Haruka's eyes wandered around the station to look for any familiar faces. Nagisa had told him that he would pick him up with Rin, and Haruka couldn't wait to see the redhead. Although they talked on the phone at least once in a month, it also had been a long time since he last met him face to face. Haruka considered of calling Nagisa to remind him that he was now here at Iwatobi, but then a voice called out his name from far and Haruka decided that there was no need for that anymore.

"Haru-chan! Haru-chaaaaan!"

"Geez, shut up, Nagisa, he can see you from here." Rin grumbled next to him and Haruka had to let a small smile to appear on his face. Nagisa didn't change at all, he was wearing a bright orange shirt with a red sweater, and Rin next to him was all clad in black, though he was smiling as well when his eyes met Haruka's.

The blond glomped him once he reached him, and Haruka tried to stand properly with the new added weight.

"Haru-chaaaan, I miss yoooou!" he wailed and Haruka sighed heavily. "Nagisa, nice to meet you again. And drop the -chan."

Ran tched, a hand reached out to pat Haruka on his shoulder. The redhead then leaned down to take his bag, and Haruka nodded gratefully at him.

"How's your flight?" asked the redhead and Haruka tried to find a proper answer while at the same time dropping the blond back to his feet. Nagisa grinned happily at him, and cuddled tight on his side as they started to walk.

"It was okay. When did you reach here?" he turned to look at Rin and Rin shrugged.

"Yesterday. I don't have any competition to take part in this week, so I guess coming early won't hurt much. I drove here, anyway." Rin looked back at him and Haruka quietly looked away. He knew that the redhead might want to say something else – something related to them that Haruka didn't want to know now, and perhaps, never – and Nagisa hurriedly pulled Haruka toward the black car once they left the station. Rin put his luggage in the back seat and told Nagisa to sit at the back. The blond pouted and whined but he was ignored as both Haruka and Rin took the front seats.

The drive to the hotel was filled with Nagisa's talking about the wedding arrangement and Rin cut him off sometimes to add his own details. Haruka's silence seemed to be something that both Rin and Nagisa had agreed not to question, and when they finally reached the hotel, Haruka finally found the little remaining courage that he had left to ask about him.

"Is he coming?"

Rin parked the car, before turning to look at him. Nagisa fiddled with his fingers, laughing weakly before looking at Haruka as well.

"Haru-chan… umm," Nagisa bit his lower lip and Rin rolled his eyes at the blond's response. The redhead leaned against the driver seat and crossed his arms on his chest.

"Makoto reached Iwatobi this morning, we haven't got a chance to see him yet... but Kou said that he brought a plus one."

Haruka stared wide eyes at the redhead, and Rin's eyes glared a hole on the windshield of the car. Nagisa seemed to be hesitating, since he looked like he wanted to say something on behalf of Makoto, and to comfort Haruka as well.

Haruka blinked his eyes slowly, and decided to act like this shouldn't even matter anyway. His hands clenched and unclenched repeatedly in his lap, before he turned to leave the car. Rin whipped his head to look at him in shock, before the redhead also leaped out from the car.

"Haru! Are you not going to say a fucking thing about this? I mean it has been almost a year and you never talk about this with anyone! What the fuck, Nanase, you're not that invincible-"

"Rin, please be quiet." Haruka cut him off with a quiet tone, and Rin stared at him as if he just grew another head. Nagisa also stepped out from the car, and took out his luggage together. Haruka murmured a soft 'thank you' to the small blond before he looked back at his other childhood best friend.

"Can you please lead me to my room?"

* * *

The rest of the night was spent with Haruka sitting quietly in his seat. Nagisa, Rin and Rei were with him, chattering happily with each other. Rin looked a bit tense before, but Rei managed to loosen him up by asking him about his swimming competition. The blue haired man just finished with his medical school and now having his housemanship training at a hospital in Kyoto. Nagisa was working at a kindergarten as a teacher, in a town a few stations away from Iwatobi. And Rin, the redhead was still chasing after his dream to be the best swimmer. He was a national swimmer and had taken part in a lot of swimming competitions.

Gou and her future husband, who was Rin's ex captain, Seijuurou, had opened an aquatic centre together in Tokyo and the business seemingly was going very well. Haruka was still working as a sous-chef in a well-known restaurant in Tokyo. He managed to get a high raise only in two years working there, and perhaps by next year, he would be appointed as the executive chef.

Silently, Haruka took a sip of his lemonade and his eyes turned to look around him. They were now in the bar belonged to the hotel; the hotel was positioned at the border of Iwatobi Town, so Haruka didn't get the chance to visit his old home and the ocean on their way there.

"Hopefully Gou-chan is not panicking right now, she was supposed to meet us here fifteen minutes ago." Nagisa complained as he checked his watch again. Rei looked at him with a disapproving glare.

"Nagisa-kun, it's completely normal for the bride to panic when her wedding is in three more days. Wedding must be made perfect and  _beautiful_." The blue haired man pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and Rin snorted. Apparently he still didn't get over his obsession over beautiful things.

"Shut it, Nagisa. My sister can come whenever she wants. Just enjoy your drink." The redhead gave a look at the blond, and Nagisa pouted back at him. Rei laughed at the way Nagisa was treated by Rin, and Haruka slowly stood up from his seat.

"I'm just going to get my drink refill." The dark haired man informed his friends before he left, and slowly approached the bar. He put down his glass on the counter and called out to the bartender. When the tall bartender came to refill his drink, Haruka stared at the collection of alcoholic drinks at the cupboard, and abruptly pushed away his empty glass. The night was still young and tomorrow he might not be able to enjoy a peaceful night anymore – since his ex-husband was also in the same hotel with him now, along with his  _plus one_  – so he figured a glass of alcoholic drink wouldn't hurt.

"Cognac, please." The bartender nodded his head at him and turned to grab a bottle of Cognac for him instead. While waiting for the bartender to pour him his drink, Haruka went stiff at the sudden, new presence, beside him.

"Hi, can I have a cup of Irish Coffee, please?"

Wide eyes, Haruka turned to look at the newcomer and if it was even possible, his blue eyes went wider.

Makoto stood beside him, wearing a formal buttoned-up white shirt, with the sleeves folded up to his elbows. Two first buttons were undone and his necktie was nowhere in sight. He wore a pair of black slacks as well as a pair of black shoes. He looked good as how he always did, and his hair looked a bit ruffled, but that only added more to his charm. However, it was the sight of him smiling that caught Haruka's attention.

To think that it had been almost a year since the last time he saw that smile…

"Ohh, H-Haru!" the taller man, apparently also just realized his presence, as he stuttered in surprise once he looked at the man next to him. Haruka blinked his eyes as well, and stepped back from him, putting a bit of distance between them. Makoto seemed to realize what he was doing, because his expression softened and his eyes had a fleeting glimpse of hurt in them. Haruka quickly looked away –  _anywhere_ , as long as it was not at Makoto – and he felt the taller man next to him stiffened too.

"Umm…" Makoto rubbed the back of his head with one hand, and his green eyes looked a bit troubled as he tried to find a suitable greeting for the black haired man, "Hi.. Haruka. Been a long time since we last met, yeah? I thought you're not coming… How are you doing?"

' _What happened to Haru-chan?'_  Haruka's voice cried in the back of his head, and Haruka nodded his head slightly.

"I'm doing well. I changed my decision last minute because I managed to get a replacement for my shifts."

The was an awkward silence for a moment, as Haruka stared at his hands on top of the counter, and Makoto also not knowing what else to say. It had never been like this, when they were together. There were comfortable silence, angry silence, loving silence, but never awkward, never uncomfortable.

Haruka pulled down his hands from the counter before they could start clenching themselves again, like how they had been doing a few hours ago. He could feel Makoto's green eyes scrutinizing him from his head to his toe; probably to check whether he was really doing well. Typical Makoto; always looked out for other people no matter how uncomfortable he was with them.

"Here, Sir." The bartender put Haruka's glass of Cognac on top of the counter, closer to Makoto rather than Haruka himself. Haruka muttered a soft 'thank you' before he reached out to take his drink. However, Makoto was faster, because he took the glass for Haruka and offered it to him instead of letting Haruka reaching out to take it.

Both Haruka's and Makoto's eyes widened at the simple gesture; Makoto's hand stilled with the glass in his grip, and Haruka's froze in the air.

" _Here, Haru-chan, your drink." A hand offered Haruka a glass of water as Haruka sleepily entered the kitchen-_

" _Haru-chan!" A towel was placed in front of him, and Haruka smiled as he took the towel from his husband, having just gone out of the bathtub-_

" _Which one do you want, Haru?" Haruka stared at the pink strawberry and green kiwi Popsicles, before reaching out to take the green one. But before he could do so, Makoto already pressed the tip of the ice cream on his lips. Blushing slightly, Haruka took the Popsicle and abruptly looked away, hoping that Makoto didn't see the slight flush on his face. Makoto did, though, as he laughed happily at Haruka's embarrassment-_

" _Here, Haru," Makoto's voice was soft and gentle as he put a cooling pad on Haruka's feverish forehead, and Haruka closed his eyes with a happy sigh coming from his lips. A loving kiss were pressed against his temple and his hands reached out to grab onto his husband's bicep when he felt the taller man started to move away-_

"Makoto-senpai!"

Both of them gasped in surprise, as Gou's voice echoed in the small bar. The young redhead wrapped her arms around Makoto's middle, and Makoto fortunately managed to put down the glass of Cognac before it could spill. Haruka still watched him with wide, horrific blue eyes, as Makoto wrapped his arms back around the redhead. Makoto laughed weakly, his green eyes avoided Haruka's blue as he congratulated Gou for her wedding, and Haruka had to take a deep, long breath before he could start talking without a shaky voice.

"Hello, Kou."

Gou looked up at him, and her eyes sparkled happily.

"Haruka-senpai! I'm so happy that you made it!" she let go of the brunette to approach him, and Haruka had to smile a little because the redhead still found it awkward to pull him into a hug after all those years. He patted the girl on her head instead, and when Gou blushed, Haruka smiled wider.

"Makoto, yo." Makoto turned to look at others who were now approaching them as well. Rin tilted his head slightly at the tall brunette, with a raised eyebrow, and Makoto smiled at them.

"Hi, guys! Long time no see!" The brunette greeted them and Nagisa cried out happily as he jumped the brunette. Rei scolded the blond and Rin only snorted. Haruka took this chance to look at Makoto properly – and tried to memorize his features and his laughter – and when he realized Gou was staring at him with sympathy in her eyes, he had to look away.

Haruka hated this. He thought that he was over this, and he hated the fact that everyone could see that he was not.

Clenching his hand tightly into a fist, Haruka murmured a very small 'I need to go now, I'm sleepy', hoping that none of them actually heard him and tried to stop him. But before he turned away to leave, he caught the sight of Makoto's eyes widened as they looked at him in surprise.

Haruka paid no mind to them though, but his steps became quicker and he ended up running back to his room.

* * *

" _What happened to us, Haru?"_

" _I don't understand you anymore, Makoto. I thought you and I are in this together."_

" _Then what do you think we are now?"_

"…  _I think we are over."_

* * *

Haruka's eyes were wide as they stared at the white ceiling of his hotel room. His hand on his chest, gripping tight on the shirt where his beating heart was located. Haruka didn't know much about love or together or forever, but he knew that it wasn't supposed to hurt. Loving someone who you wanted to be with, together, forever, shouldn't hurt you.

It shouldn't be hurting you or the other person. That was, in the first place, not love. Because you shouldn't hurt the one that you love.

Haruka blinked his eyes when he felt them warming up. His sight blurred and suddenly Haruka remembered that Makoto used to cry every time Haruka told him he was feeling a little bit sad. It was like the brunette knew him too much, understood him too much, that he got affected by everything that Haruka felt. It was annoying; adorable, but annoying, and unfortunately, Haruka wouldn't have it any other way.

He didn't have that anymore though. The second when he scrawled his signature on that piece of paper, Makoto didn't belong to him anymore.

It was no longer Makoto and Haruka.

There were no more Makoto's Haruka, and Haruka's Makoto.

By the moment the two of them went separate ways – with the divorce petition signed and verified – there were Makoto, and Haruka.

It was painful, days after that, to survive without the brunette. But Haruka had managed to convince himself that that was the best. You can love someone from far, you can love them more than yourself, from far. Furthermore, in his condition, that was the only option left. To think that maybe Makoto missed him too, soothed a bit of his misery, and Haruka was done with it anyway.

At least there were no more late night waiting for Makoto to go home, no more broken dates and promises, no more tears and no more trying. The only downfall of it was that there was no more Makoto. And God, didn't that hurt the most when Haruka returned home and realized that there wouldn't be any more cooking mishaps by his husband, no more Makoto's sheepish laughter and no more of his long fingers running through Haruka's hair every time Haruka told him he couldn't sleep?

Haruka never wanted to talk about this to anyone. He did try his best back then, but things didn't work out and they didn't have faith. They didn't have enough faith for this. The two of them played every card that they had, and when there was no more trick under their sleeve to save what they once had, they both know it was time to stop trying, and stop hurting.

Haruka blinked his eyes and managed not to let any tears fall. He turned to lie on his side, and stared at the open window. The winds were strong, as they blew the untied curtains of his windows. Haruka thought of closing the windows, but then there would be silence.

And Haruka had enough with silence. He didn't need more than the deadly, quiet beating of his heart. He didn't need more silence, because the silence that followed Makoto's last goodbye, was enough to last him forever.

* * *

The next morning, Haruka tried to best to avoid any interaction with anyone. He took his breakfast early in the morning, went for a short jog and swim in the hotel's pool, before he returned back to his room. He stayed inside for a few hours, watching the television boringly, until there was persistent knocks on his door. Knowing so much the only person who dare to do so, Haruka sighed heavily and opened the door.

"What do you want, Rin?" He asked with his blank expression, and Rin pushed past him to enter his room.

"What the hell, Haru? You are awake all this while, we were waiting for you and for fuck's sake, please answer your phone at least once in your whole life, could you?!" The redhead hissed at him and Haruka's eyes automatically turned to look at his cell phone on the nightstand. He usually put the cell phone on silent mode, disliking it very much when people called him for useless stuffs.

Rin seemed to realize this as well, as the redhead groaned angrily. And then he grabbed onto Haruka's arm and pulled him outside with him. Haruka frowned as he tried to pull away from Rin's grip.

"Rin, let me go-"

"You and I," Rin was gritting his teeth, and Haruka almost flinched at the tone that he used,  _almost_ , "Are going for a swim."

If it was years ago, Haruka's eyes would sparkle at the mentioning of water and swimming. But now when there was no one – Makoto – to pull him out from the water, he found himself deflating miserably. But the black haired man didn't fight it as Rin dragged him towards their destination.

Although he was acting aggressively, Haruka knew that all he wanted just to make sure that Haruka was okay. And Haruka was grateful enough for that, not to fight him back. It was better than having to talk about his feelings to the redhead anyway.

* * *

The God must have hated Haruka. Hated him so much that He decided to drop everything down on him all at once. Because mercy was just something too nice to be given to a man who broke the heart of a person as beautiful as Makoto.

Haruka stood close to the swimming pool, having been there for the second time of the day, as he stared at Makoto. The brunette was sitting on the edge of the pool, his legs in the water, and his own green eyes were wide as they looked back at Haruka.

Haruka wanted to die in a deep, dark abyss.

"Oi, Nanase! Strip and jump already!" Rin shouted at him from inside the pool, the insensitive bastard that he was, and Haruka stiffened even more at the sight of Makoto's flushing all in sudden.

 _Die_ , Haruka screamed in his head,  _DIE_.

Haruka reluctantly pulled his shirt and pants off; his blue eyes tried their best to not look at his ex-husband, but he couldn't help it. He just had to see Makoto's response to him being almost naked.

Makoto was looking away from him, his green eyes looking focused as they stared at the water. But the bright red flush on his face and neck gave him away. Haruka didn't know whether to feel troubled or proud, that Makoto still found him attractive. He opted to jump into the pool instead, and let the water take him in.

Rin swam close to him, and Haruka found himself relaxing once he was immersed in the cool water – since it was autumn –. His legs moved on their own accord, out of habit, as he started to swim freely in the pool. He didn't get enough swimming this early morning because he was too wary of his surroundings.

He kept on imagining Makoto appeared out of nowhere and offered him a hand to help him out from the pool. It didn't go well with his intention to avoid the brunette at all cost. But now he got Rin with him and Makoto seemed to be reluctant about Haruka. Rei and Nagisa, who were there too, were having a nice chatter with the brunette about his job and Haruka closed his eyes, trying to focus on blocking all the words.

Makoto's and Haruka's career; sensitive topic.

Haruka swam smoothly inside of the pool, his whole body feeling light and he circled the redhead when he reached him. Then he saw Rin grinning like a shark at him before the redhead grabbed him by his shoulders and started wrestling him playfully under the water.

"Rin Rin! Haru-chan! What are you guys doing?" Haruka could hear Nagisa's worried voice as the blond looked at them from above the water. His legs kicked the redhead's behind him, but Rin was stifling his laughter as he continued to headlock him. Haruka growled in anger, and bit the redhead's arms with his fingernails. It seemed to surprise Rin enough to release him and swam back, and Haruka swiftly turned to strangle him with his hands when suddenly his stomach contracted.

Gasping in pain, Haruka curled into himself and his hands went to touch his cramping stomach. Rin stared wide eyed at him and the redhead quickly swam toward Haruka to help him. But before Haruka could register it, familiar strong arms wrapped around him from behind and he felt his body being dragged up to the surface.

"Aaah!" Haruka gasped for breath when they finally resurfaced, his arms still tight around his stomach, while the person behind him proceeded to pull him out from the water. Rin also had rushed out from the pool and approached him with a panicking look on his face.

"Haru-chan!"

"Haruka-senpai!"

Nagisa's and Rei's worried faces appeared in his line of sight, and Haruka whined when Rei slipped a hand on his lower back and pressed another on the cramping area.

"Stomach cramp. Nagisa-kun, get me the towels!"

Haruka closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. It had been a long time since he had last got stomach cramp, because Makoto always looked out for his health, and the water and weather condition before allowing him to swim. And it had been almost two weeks since Haruka last swam in a pool because he was too busy working.

However, in the midst of Rei trying to stop his cramping by placing a number of towels behind his back for him to lie on, he felt long fingers ran themselves through his water soaked hair. He felt the strong arms from before were still supporting him, because his head was lying on one arm, while the fingers of another hand stroke his hair lovingly.

Slowly opening his eyes, Haruka felt his breath stuck in his throat at the sight of Makoto looking down at him with his pair of green eyes. He looked worried and his face scrunched in a way that Haruka knew he was holding onto his tears.

"Haru…" the brunette called out his name in a soft voice, and suddenly Haruka felt so out of place. He didn't know where to put his hands now, and he didn't know whether it would be a good idea to look away. Makoto, though he did look like he matured more in the duration of months they weren't together, still had the heart of a kind man. His broad chest was probably to contain his big heart that was so rare to find nowadays.

His fingers were still stroking Haruka's hair and Haruka wanted him to stop because Makoto was making him feel like he had taken one step forward, just to take two steps back afterward.

"Haruka-senpai, does the pain lessen?" Haruka heard Rei asked him in a concerned tone and then he realized that the pain was no longer here. Nodding his head stiffly, Haruka tried to pull away and sit down, but his stomach throbbed and he had to take another gasping breath, eyes closed uncomfortably.

"Haru," Rin started and Haruka shook his head to show that the redhead didn't have to feel guilty. It was Haruka's fault anyway for not continuing his normal swimming routine; it felt like his body was slowly forgotten how it felt like to swim for hours.

"I'll bring him back to his room." Makoto said to their friends who were looking at Haruka hesitantly. They were never that good at reading him anyway, so Haruka didn't blame them for their insecurities and reluctant when it came to Haruka's thought. But then he felt Makoto put an arm under his knees and another around his shoulders. It made his blue eyes widened in shock, as he abruptly turned to look at Makoto. Then the brunette carried him up, bridal style, with ease came from routine and familiarity. Just like how Makoto carried him when he fell asleep on the couch – due to late night movie together with Makoto, or due to waiting for Makoto to return home – and when Haruka fell sick and unable to move by his own.

The brunette was drenched with water since he jumped to save Haruka in the pool, fully clothed. Haruka's first intention to stop him died on his lips when Makoto pulled him closer to his chest and proceeded to walk them back into the hotel. Haruka slowly looked down, his fingers restless as they tangled with each other on his lap.

Makoto's steps were careful and in that silent moment the two of them impliedly agreed not to break, Haruka wondered how he knew where his room was. Then he realized Makoto was glancing down at him, and as if he was reading Haruka – he was, he had been doing it for a long time, and Haruka loved him so much because of that – he gave a small awkward smile.

"I actually had to change my room last night, and the hotel gave me the one right across yours. Kou told me that."

Haruka couldn't help but paled at the thought of unable to avoid Makoto any longer now.

The brunette seemed to sense his discomfort, because his body became tensed as well and his grips on Haruka tightened. Once they reached Haruka's room, Haruka fumbled with the key Nagisa gave him right before Makoto took him away. The brunette entered his room after a small nod from Haruka, and instead of the bed, he headed toward the spacious bathtub and placed Haruka to sit down inside of it. Haruka blushed slightly, happy at the implication that Makoto still remembered what he preferred best when he was hurt or sick. Makoto smiled at him, his green eyes bright and warm as he opened the tap to allow water to flow it; his fingers tested the water to make sure it was warm before he pulled away.

Then he went to retrieve the towels from the upper cupboard and placed them on the closed toilet lid. Haruka looked up at him as he stuttered a bit in his action. By then Haruka realized that Makoto's hand was reaching out, probably to pat him on his head like how he always did when Haruka was feeling unwell.

Blue eyes wide, Haruka stared at Makoto, as the brunette stared back at him with equally wide green eyes. The two of them didn't realize that they were holding their breath, until the water almost overflow the tub.

"O-Ohh!" Makoto hurriedly off the tap and there was flushes on his face when he looked away from Haruka. Haruka looked down as well because he felt his cheeks were reddening quite rapidly. Then he clenched his hands on his lap, and tried to gather his courage to smooth things up with his ex-husband.

"Makoto-"

"Haru-"

Another awkward silence as the two of them unintentionally called each other's name at the same time. But right at that moment, Haruka and Makoto were both looking at each other and Haruka felt his resolve breaking at the sight of Makoto's eyes looking so pained. Makoto didn't deserve that, didn't deserve any kind of pain, because although they agreed to separate and let go of what they had had in their whole life together, Haruka was the one who initiated everything.

Because he didn't know what else to do, and Makoto wasn't there to help him about it.

"I…" Makoto started again, and this time Haruka allowed himself a little bit of chance to see the love of his life as someone who used to belong to him. Makoto's hand was fisted at his side and Haruka felt his eyes warmed again at the memory of them clenching and unclenching the day Haruka told Makoto they were over. "I… I think I better go now."

Haruka closed his eyes once Makoto turned away, and quickly left the bathroom. He heard the sound of the door being closed, and Haruka spent a moment being still in his position. Then he immersed himself underwater, with the hope that the salty drops of water he felt running down his cheeks and lips just now were only his imagination.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Free!
> 
> Un-betaed. Sorry for all the grammatical errors. :(

Makoto quietly stirred his glass of rum, his green eyes dazed as they stared at the alcoholic drink. He spent a moment just merely thinking about yesterday; about seeing Haruka again after being apart for so long. And it was a bit ridiculous by itself, because Makoto just realized that this had been the longest time he and Haruka were separated. Makoto wasn’t really sure how he survived the months in the world of no more Nanase Haruka.

Blinking his eyes, Makoto looked at his own reflection in his drink, and he had to chuckle a bit.

Last night was uncalled for. He didn’t expect that the good looking man he saw from behind was Haruka. He didn’t mean to surprise the dark haired man all in sudden. But Haruka had looked so horrified when he realized it was Makoto beside him. Other people wouldn’t be able to see his emotions through his poker face, but Makoto had been with him since they were kids.

Reading Haruka had been as easily as breathing anyway.

And to think that just now, at the pool…

Makoto’s eyes darkened at the memory of the past few hours and his grip on his glass tightened.

“Makoto-senpai, isn’t it too early to get drunk?”

“Huh?” Makoto looked up at the person standing beside him, and blinked his eyes. Rei smiled politely at him, and nodded his head slightly. Since Makoto was sitting at the bar, the blue haired man just took the empty seat next to them and ordered a glass of orange juice.

“Well?” He inquired again after the bartender tended his order, and Makoto had to laugh sheepishly.

“Well… I’m not planning to get drunk. I just need to clear my mind a little bit.” He smiled at the younger man, and inwardly chuckled at the thought that Rei was a future doctor, so it was sensible for him to ask such questions. The blue haired man, however, fiddled a bit with his glass of drink when he finally got it. His eyes also looked a bit trouble, and Makoto who had the empathy of an older brother, just patiently waited for him to talk.

Rei seemingly had problem to put his thoughts into words, because he kept biting his lower lip and at times his eyes looked at Makoto as if he wasn’t sure how to talk to him. Makoto sighed, a small smile on his face when it looked like Rei didn’t actually have the strength to speak to him.

“What is it that bothering you, Rei?” Makoto asked, his warm smile never left his face and Rei looked down for a moment, before he looked back at Makoto. But this time, instead of hesitating, Rei’s eyes looked firm and determined.

“Makoto-senpai, I know that this might sound as if I’m being a busybody, but I don’t want to ask around about your personal life. I respect you, Makoto-senpai, and I respect Haruka-senpai too, but… but both of you are not telling anyone anything and it’s driving us crazy because we are worried about you two!”

Makoto blinked his eyes in surprise at Rei’s words, and the blue haired man clenched his hands into fists in his lap, looking conflicted and frustrated at the same time.

“So, please, Makoto-senpai,” Makoto felt himself pale at the implication of Rei’s upcoming words, and his heart was beating so fast he thought it would get thrown out from his chest, “Please tell us what happened between you and Haruka-senpai, that made the two of you decided to get divorced.

* * *

 

Rin came in into his room once Haruka had the strength to drag himself into bed. The redhead brought him a plate of pastries – it was Rin’s typical form of apology –, and Haruka tried his best to disappear under his blanket.

“How did you get into my room?” Haruka’s monotone voice actually sounded a bit irritated for once and Rin raised an eyebrow at that. He placed the plate on the nightstand, before pulling onto Haruka’s blanket.

“You didn’t lock the door, stupid. Wake up! I brought you food, you didn’t get your lunch earlier, right?”

Haruka grumbled under his breath, muttering that Makoto was the one who didn’t lock the door when he left so the brunette was the stupid one, not him. He held tight onto his thick blanket as the two of them got into a game of tug of war. Rin gritted his teeth, and Haruka felt him putting his foot on the bed to nudge onto what he thought as Haruka’s leg.

“Nanase, let go! Why are you being so stubborn-” then the redhead let out a gasp, and Haruka felt the pull on his blanket became loosened, “Are you crying?!”

Haruka abruptly sat down, pushing away the blanket from Rin and glared at the redhead with twitchy eyes. “I am not!”

But the expression on Rin’s face caught him off guard.

“Got you.” The redhead grinned like a shark, and his hands snatched onto Haruka’s blanket and pulled it away from him. Haruka gritted his teeth in annoyance, before he grabbed a pillow and threw it on Rin’s face. The redhead barely avoided the pillow, causing Haruka to glare some more.

Later, the two of them found themselves sitting on the floor of Haruka’s room, facing the open balcony and there was a peaceful silence for a while. Rin stole some of his pastries from time to time, Haruka glared at him each time he did that, and when the redhead suddenly turned to look at him, Haruka knew he was in for a serious talk.

“Tonight we’re having dinner together. Gou and Seijuurou want to see all of us together again…” Haruka opened his mouth to refuse the offer, but Rin’s eyes were sharp as they stared at him, “And you are not allowed to say no.”

Haruka sighed softly, his blue eyes sad and miserable when he looked down at his now empty plate.

“Rin… I don’t even know what I’m doing here.”

Rin rolled his eyes at him, before looking back at the scenery from the open balcony. Haruka leaned back and rested the back of his head against his bed, his eyes blinking slowly at the white ceiling. When he felt Rin moved slightly next to him, Haruka glanced at him from the corner of his eyes.

Throughout their friendship – Haruka, Makoto and Rin –, Rin seemed to understand that whatever happened between Haruka and Makoto, would stay as between Haruka and Makoto only. The two of them had been friends for a long time before they met Rin, and the redhead respected the privacy they had for each other. But it didn’t mean that Rin would stay silent and deferential, when Haruka and Makoto were slowly destroying each other.

“… You want to know what happened between Makoto and I, right?” Haruka offered the question to Rin, knowing very well from the disturbed look on Rin’s face that he was torn between minding his own business, and helping his friends.

Rin turned to look at him, red eyes sharp, but reluctant, and Haruka sighed again. He spent another moment, staring at the ceiling some more, indulging himself in the quiet moment Rin was providing him with, before he dropped the bomb.

“You guys are still into each other, being an old married couple for a long time can’t really change that despite the fact that the both of you are divorced. Really, Haru? I don’t even get it at times, but why? Why divorced if you still-”

“Rin.”

Rin huffed at the abrupt way Haruka cut him off. He looked away from the dark haired man and gritted his teeth quietly. Haruka didn’t say anything for a moment, but his body looked less tensed than it did each and every time Haruka saw Makoto.

Then the young chef suddenly reached out a hand, as if he tried to reach out to the sky, and Rin held his breath in anticipation.

“When you... love someone,” Haruka started, tone quiet and slow, but a little bit melancholic, “You will really, _really_ try to give them the world.”

He stopped for a moment, took a deep and long breath, and Rin stared at him as if this was the first time Haruka show him who ‘Haruka and Makoto’ really was. Haruka turned his head slightly to the side to look at the redhead, and a small smile appeared on his face. Rin didn’t miss the fact that his smile looked dull and lifeless.

“… but in the end,” the dark haired man closed his eyes with a soft sigh, his hand that was reaching out, clenched itself into a fist and fell down on his side, “… maybe all they need is just you.”

* * *

 

“Remember our wedding 6 years ago?” Makoto smiled at the blue haired man, and Rei nodded his head quiet ecstatically. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and by the dazed look on his face, Makoto knew he was reminiscing one of the most beautiful moments in Makoto’s life.

“Yes, fresh from high school, we were young, in love, and we were looking forward to our future.” Makoto continued, his smile remained on his face, though it looked a bit sad. Rei lowered his head a bit, and respectfully let Makoto take his time.

Makoto still remembered it; he asked Haruka whether Haruka would like to cook Makoto his mackerel, for breakfast, lunch and dinner, for the rest of his lifetime. It was lame, cliché and Makoto didn’t know how he managed to pull off such a proposal. Haruka had said yes, anyway, that was the most important. Their parents were reluctant about their decision at first, since getting married at the age of 18 was too much for them. But Haruka and Makoto had been together since they were children, postponing something – marriage – that everyone knew would happen anyway, was futile.

It was a small wedding; at the church in their small town. Those attended it were their parents, and all their close friends. Afterward, Makoto got an offer to extend his study, from a university in Tokyo, and Haruka managed to enter a Culinary Academy in Tokyo as well. Fortunately for the two of them, the distance between the Culinary Academy and Makoto’s university wasn’t really that far. They rented an apartment together, and those years were the best in Makoto’s life. After they graduated, Makoto landed himself a great job from a business company, and Haruka also managed to get a position in a restaurant. They decided to stay in Tokyo for a number of years, and finally ended up buying a house together.

Just like how Makoto imagined his life with Haruka would be.

And then, came the moments where everything turned upside down, and suddenly Makoto didn’t know what happened to them anymore.

As time went by, Makoto became too involved with his work. In his head, he was thinking that he needed to work hard. He needed to work hard and he need to give Haruka more because Haruka deserved that. Haruka was busy as well with the restaurant, so Makoto thought that some late nights off with his husband wouldn’t hurt.

And without really meaning to, Makoto lost himself in his journey, and suddenly Haruka couldn’t find him anymore.

Makoto didn’t sure what happen, to be telling the truth. Haruka never really told him anything, and most nights Makoto returned home late, just to go to work early. His days off were rare because his boss had taken a liking on his works, and Makoto got promoted into a higher position within six months working. If he was not working, he usually spent the day at home alone, because Haruka didn’t get lucky enough to have the same day off with him.

He still bought his husband presents, paid all the bills because he wanted Haruka to spend his own salary for his own leisure, and although Makoto didn’t get to spend a lot of time with Haruka, there was never a second where Haruka was not in his mind.

But that was where he went wrong.

Slowly, he realized that Haruka didn’t look as happy as he did months ago, when Makoto bought him presents as his apology for unable to attend Haruka’s functions at his restaurant. Haruka didn’t look at him in the eyes anymore every time Makoto kissed him. And the worst was that, Haruka started to return home late as well.

Makoto didn’t know whether this was some sort of a revenge that Haruka wanted to put on him because he felt that Makoto neglected him.

(Later Makoto got to know that it was not revenge. It was Haruka with a broken heart, trying to find something else he could focus on. And it started from the night Makoto actually failed to return home early as promised, and he had to off his phone because of an urgent meeting; the night where Haruka spent alone with a cake written on top of it ‘Happy Anniversary’ and a surprise dinner made by Haruka, along with Haruka’s surprise presents.)

They tried to talk about it; about lessening their working hours and spend more time together, but Makoto couldn’t make it to their promise.

Works were works, Makoto needed to perform if he wanted to give Haruka everything.

If he wanted to give Haruka the world.

But the worst thing was, Makoto didn’t expect Haruka to finally have enough.

* * *

 

_“… I think we are over.”_

_“What? But… But_ Haru _… I-I love_ you _!”_

_There was a long, uncomfortable silence. And when Haruka titled his head up, his glassy blue eyes met Makoto’s green, Makoto knew that there was nothing else that he could say to save what they were. Makoto couldn’t move or say anything more, he was fixed in his seat with his green eyes wide open, Then Haruka continued with a smaller voice, though he sounded firm, but he looked like he would break at any moment._

_“But Makoto…” his firm voice wavered a little, causing the dark haired man to take a deep breath to control himself, and Makoto felt himself slowly die with every word that came out next, “... Love is not enough anymore.”_

* * *

 

“It was my fault, purely mine.” Makoto looked at Rei and the blue haired man blinked his eyes slowly. Not wanting to confuse Rei any longer, Makoto laughed a bit and took a small sip of his drink.

“I lost myself in my work, and I... I neglected him. And I screwed things up, so badly. We couldn’t fix our relationship anymore, and we became so miserable. In the end, Haruka decided that we need to… _let go_ , and that that’s for the best.” Makoto softly murmured. Rei looked at him with conflicted eyes, but Makoto was grateful that he didn’t say anything much about Makoto’s side of the story. Then the brunette laughed again, just to make sure that the darkening atmosphere between them became less depressing.

“We were _young_ , Rei,” Makoto smiled warmly, “We were young, naïve, and stupidly in love. Life is not like those romantic novels we see in the bookshops. And Haruka and I, although we didn’t last forever, at least we were together… And that alone is enough for me.”

Makoto then watched Rei clenched his hands together, bit his lower lip and shakily took a deep. The blue haired man frowned a bit, more likely to himself rather than at Makoto, and Makoto tilted his head slightly to one side.

“What is it now, Rei?” He gently inquired, causing Rei to look back at him, and quietly stuttering the problem in his mind.

“But… But it’s… it’s too obvious that both of you still love each other…” Rei stuttered, red in his face, and Makoto blinked his eyes at him out of surprise. He stared at Rei for a moment, before leaning back against his seat, and had to let out a small, and weak smile on his face.

“Rei,” the blue haired man looked at Makoto and Makoto closed his eyes and smiled, “That was Haru’s decision. I don’t want to disrespect that… And I also learned some things from this, from him.”

Rei nodded his head slightly, just to signal that he was listening.

“I learned that sometimes, you just have to keep reminding yourself that the point of being together is to _be_ together.” Makoto’s eyes darkened slightly as he reminded himself again of that fact, his smile remained on his face, but was much more dulled, “And  that when I actually tried so hard to give him the world, I forgot that… that in the end, maybe all he needed was just me.”

* * *

 

“I bet your muscles are not as beautiful as mine, Matsuoka!”

The veins on Rin’s forehead were almost visible, caused by his temper that was about to explode.

“What are you saying, you bastard-”

“Oni-chan! Sei-kun! Stop fighting you two!”

Nagisa was cheering for them to keep fighting, while Rei beside him keep on scolding the blond’s childish behaviour. Gou, who sat next to Seijuurou, tried to separate her fiancé and brother who were so close to smash their head against each other’s, considering that they were sitting face to face across the table.

Makoto laughed weakly, feeling bad for Gou but at the same feeling grateful that he wasn’t included in the fight. They had just finished with their meals, and now were just talking to each other and spend time together. Makoto was sitting next to Gou and in front of him was Rei. And the person who sat next to Rei and also next to the wall glass was Haruka. Haruka looked at them from time to time, his expression remained emotionless, though he did partake when the group discussed new topics.

But most of the time, he spent looking at the outside of the restaurant through the glass wall. The rain was heavy outside, and Haruka watched it with dazed eyes. Makoto wanted to say something, or maybe just a simple ‘Hi’, since they didn’t speak directly to each other at all.

Not long after that, Gou seemed to realize what the dark haired man was doing, and blinked her eyes at them.

“Apparently it has been raining nonstop these few nights, though last night it didn’t.” She commented, and Rei pushed her glasses up his nose.

“Yes, I’ve checked the weather forecast. This weather will repeat itself, maybe until the end of this week, considering that today is only Wednesday. It is a good thing that your wedding ceremony and reception will be held indoor.” The blue haired man stated with his matter-of-fact voice. Nagisa rolled his eyes beside him, before poking him lightly on his rib, causing Rei to shout indignantly at him.

“Stop doing that, Nagisa-kun!”

“You just look so formal, Rei-chan!”

Makoto laughed at their antics, happy that their demeanour almost didn’t change at all.

“Well, what is the plan for tomorrow, then?” He decided to cut in before the argument became worse. Gou put a hand under her chin, her body subconsciously leaning closer against her fiancé and Seijuurou looked victorious as he held her close. Rin still looked like he wanted to bite the taller man with his shark teeth.

“Tomorrow, Oni-chan needs to go and get his suits at the shop. Seijuurou and I already took ours today and we need to handle more things tomorrow. Maybe you guys should follow Oni-chan out, it has been a long time since you guys went out together right?” Gou smiled at them, and Rin inwardly cringed at the way Makoto and Haruka abruptly paled. Nagisa however, agreed with Gou and nodded his head ecstatically.

“That’s a good idea, Gou-chan!”

Gou looked resigned by the nickname that apparently had stuck with her forever, as she didn’t even bother to correct the blond. Rei stole a glance toward the divorced couple, and had to fake a cough in order to make sure he didn’t sound as stuttered as he was feeling.

“But Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai don’t have to follow if they don’t want to.” He quietly stated, and suddenly all eyes turned to look at the duo. Makoto felt himself starting to sweat even in the air-conditioned room, however, he fisted his hands and nodded firmly.

“I’ll follow you guys. Gou-san’s right, it has been a long time.” Makoto smiled his reassuring smile, the one he knew would calm down all his friends. Rin frowned a bit, and was about to say something else on behalf of Haruka, when Haruka also spoke out.

“I’ll come as well.” The rest of the table fell silent, and Nagisa’s and Rin’s eyes were wide as they looked at Haruka. Haruka had his poker face on, but he sounded amused when he continued. “This is Kou’s wedding. Make it about her and her future husband.”

The silence continued for another moment, because the unspoken ‘Don’t make it about me and Makoto’ was so loud in Haruka’s eyes. Makoto didn’t feel surprise at all when those blue eyes turned their attention to him, and suddenly, the uncomfortable burden he felt in his chest was lifted a bit.

Makoto smiled back at his ex-husband, and nodded his head in agreement.

“Haruka’s right. Kou deserves the best wedding of her life, so let us try and make that happen, okay?”

By then, Nagisa and Gou were already starting to tear up. Rei had to laugh a bit as he patted the blond head lovingly, “Nagisa-kun, don’t cry now, you’re not even the bride.”

Gou sniffed, but she looked so happy that nobody felt the need to feel worried. She turned to look at both Haruka and Makoto and nodded her head gratefully.

“Thank you, Makoto-senpai, Haruka-senpai! You guys are the best!”

Makoto laughed warmly, and Haruka offered her a small smile on his usually blank face.

While everyone continued to chatter, Rin had to look away and tried to forget the way Haruka – in a fleet second where nobody realized, with the exception of Rin and Makoto – flinched at the sound of his full name coming out of Makoto’s lips.

_‘What happened to_ Haru _?’_ Rin thought to himself, but then another thought came up, most likely because of the conversation Rin had with Haruka a few hours ago. _‘Haru is dead. Haru is dead right at the moment when Makoto and Haru decided to get a divorce.’_

That was probably the best answer to his question.

Haruka watched quietly as Nagisa and Gou got into another banter about whether penguins would make a good choir team for her wedding, but at the same time his guards were all up. He could feel Makoto looked at him from time to time. Haruka thought that since the two of them had established a temporary truce, he should try and make a simple conversation with the brunette.

Haruka turned to face him, and saw Makoto was laughing at something Nagisa said. He looked like he was trying his best to make everyone felt better around them and Haruka had to smile a bit. He took a deep breath and tried to say something, but suddenly Makoto’s cell phone rang.

The brunette looked a bit surprise before he answered the call.

“Hello? … Oh, Yuki.” The brunette, for the first time of the night, smiling genuinely when the caller’s voice could be heard through the caller. He quickly and politely excused himself from the group, leaving Haruka staring into his now empty seats and an awkward silence to come again.

After the long silence, Gou was the one who had enough guts to break it, though she looked reluctant as she tried to explain it.

“… Yuki is the first name of Makoto’s plus one.”

Rin’s eyes were wide as they stared at Haruka, and Haruka’s thoughts screamed in his face because, of _course_ , the _plus one_ , how could Haruka forget about the _plus one_? The _one_ that Makoto brought to Gou’s wedding as his partner and although he still had feeling for Haruka, Makoto still found this _plus one_ important enough that he brought the _plus one_ along with him and suddenly Haruka felt his chest constricted and his breathing became faster and his hands were starting to shake and he couldn’t do this because Makoto– he was Makoto– he was Haruka’s–

“Haru.”

Then Haruka felt it; Rin’s hand as he touched and grabbed his shoulder firmly. He gasped quietly, blinked his eyes a few times and then looked up at the redhead who was now standing behind his seat. The other four looked very worried as well as they stared at him too. But it was the way Rin squeezed his shoulder that made him realized he wasn’t even supposed to feel this way.

“I-I’m sorry.” Haruka nodded his head stiffly, causing the others to frown back at him. Rin looked at his sister, quietly conveyed a silent message to her before he looked back at the distraught dark haired man. Haruka still looked a little bit pale, although his panic attack had subdued seconds ago. Rin squeezed his shoulder again, before muttering under his breath.

“Let’s go back to the hotel.” He told Haruka. Other than Rin, Makoto and Seijuurou also drove there so probably there wouldn’t be any transportation problem if Rin were to go back with Haruka first. However, Haruka slowly turned to look at Gou and Seijuurou with a guilty expression.

“Kou, Mikoshiba, I-”

“It’s okay, we get it,” the ex-captain smiled at him, his arm around the redhead and Gou also gave Haruka a small smile. Nagisa and Rei nodded their head as well, even though the look of sympathy remained fixed on their face. “Just go, Haruka-senpai, we’ll cover you up.”

And Haruka would forever be grateful for all the good friends that he had in his life.

* * *

 

The next day, Haruka found himself walking with Rin, Nagisa, Rei and Makoto to the nearest bridal shop in the town. Rin complained a lot about how Gou settled the bestman’s attire with Seijuurou since she had all his measurements, and he had a bad feeling that the groom had chosen him an ugly suit.

Makoto was more talkative than he did last night, as he chatted with Nagisa and Rin. Rei walked side by side with Haruka, both seemingly preferred comfortable silence more than the banter between Nagisa and Rin. Haruka watched them for a moment before remembering the early morning. He just realized that he didn’t bring along his own suit, so he had to rent one at the bridal shop that they were going. He would just take any available suit, since they didn’t really have any sufficient time to survey the other shops.

Tomorrow night would also be an important night, because a bachelor party for Seijuurou would be held at the hotel’s club.

Haruka thought of not attending at first, but he had made a promise to himself to behave. It was Gou’s wedding, the least that he could do for her after all her hard work during their high school was to respect her wedding.

When they finally reached the bridal shop, Rin was ushered into the changing room by the counter girl to try on the suit that was ready for him. The redhead was still grumbling when he entered the changing room, and Haruka took the time to survey a suit for himself. There was a collection of available suits for weddings, along with the ties. Haruka figured he could just rent the tie as well; a simple one should be enough.

Quietly, he called the counter girl to ask about the price and whether it was available on the spot. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Makoto glanced at him from time to time. The brunette was engaged in a conversation with Nagisa, who was contemplating whether it would be adorable if he were to wear a pink hat during the ceremony. Rei, as usual, disagreed with his plan and the two got into another verbal fight.

Makoto laughed weakly, seemingly had lost hope in his attempt to be the peacekeeper, and Haruka must be a monster not to feel pity for him.

“Nagisa,” he called the blond firmly, and Nagisa turned his head to him, blinking his large eyes in confusion. Haruka shrugged his shoulder slightly in the direction of the suits’ rack. “Help me pick up a suit.”

That, without doubt, successfully pulled the blond off his argument with Rei, because Nagisa cried out happily at Haruka as he ran and jumped him. Haruka just patiently suffered in silence.

“That guy never changes.” Makoto smiled with a soft chuckle, his green eyes softened as they stared at Nagisa. Rei blushed slightly and pushed his glasses up.

“Yes. Considering that he works at a kindergarten, I don’t think he will any time soon.”

Makoto only laughed at the response. Not long after that, Rin came out from the changing room, looking smart and immaculate in his best man’s suit. All of their eyes widened in surprise as Rin checked himself up in the large mirror in the middle of the shop. Even the female worker was staring at him with invisible stars in her eyes. The redhead, however, made a face as if he was judging the suit itself, before nodding his head slightly.

“Everything fits. I’ll take this now.” He told the worker, and turned to look back at his friends. Makoto gave him the thumb up, whereas Nagisa and Rei nodded their head with approval. Haruka, though he look emotionless as ever, tilted his head slightly to one side, and Rin took it as a good response, enough for him to go on and change now.

While waiting for Rin to deal with the suit, Haruka tried his that Nagisa had said to be the most suitable for him. He quietly put on the dress pants and the white shirt, staring at himself in the small mirror inside the changing room. It was a simple black and white suit, with matching navy blue tie and black waistcoat. Haruka finished with his changing and stepped out from the room, only to realize that he was now alone at the back. Rei, Nagisa and Rin were nowhere to be found and Haruka felt dread running through his veins when he heard a familiar voice beside him.

“They just went out. Rin wants to buy new shoes, and Rei and Nagisa insisted to follow him and go to the nearest shoes store.” Makoto said gently, and Haruka couldn’t help but to turn back to see him face to face.

The brunette smiled at Haruka, his trench coat on one of his forearms and his eyes were so green. Haruka never forgot how his eyes looked like, but seeing those eyes like this kept on making Haruka wondered why he gave up on them.

“Oh… okay.” Haruka quietly responded, instead. He looked down at his shoes for a moment, and was about to step back into the small changing room, when Makoto’s hand reached out and touched his necktie. Haruka gasped softly, his blue eyes widened in surprise, and Makoto gave out a small chuckle as his hand adjusted Haruka’s tie carefully.

“Your tie… a bit crooked.”

The brunette explained with a small smile, and Haruka felt his cheeks turn warm. His eyes avoided Makoto’s, trying to control himself so that he didn’t look like a cat trapped in a box, trying to find his way to escape. In his head, he wondered what Makoto was doing. Why the brunette thought it was okay, all of a sudden, for them to interact like this? Had he forgotten that they didn’t end up on each other’s good grace? Had he forgotten that Haruka had left him behind? Had he forgotten that?

“You…” Haruka blinked his eyes slowly when Makoto’s voice woke him up from his thoughts, and his head, against his will, tilted up to look at his ex-husband. Makoto smiled at him, eyes warm and loving like how they always did, “You look very gorgeous, Haruka.”

_‘Haruka again.’_ Haruka felt his eyes turned warm and teary, and he quickly stepped away. Makoto looked a bit surprise, although he didn’t say anything at all to the sudden reaction.

“I…” Haruka took a deep breath, and encouraged himself to act normal, “… Thank you, Makoto.”

He was proud of himself. Although the others wouldn’t be able to sense it if Haruka was uncomfortable or not, Makoto had the ability to read him as easily as how he breathed.  Being able to act like everything was okay in front of Makoto, was definitely a huge accomplishment. He saw Makoto frowned slightly, before the brunette gave a hesitant smile as well, and nodded his head.

“You’re welcome.”

Once Haruka changed back into his normal clothes, he put the suit on the counter and made an arrangement to rent it for a few days. The girl smiled at him as he paid the deposit, though Haruka’s attention wasn’t really about how pretty the girl at the counter actually looked like. He, however, was very wary of Makoto’s eyes watching his every movement from the back. Once he was done with the purchase, Haruka pulled out his rarely used cell phone, and the voice inside of his head shouted at him that this was the very crucial moment that needed Nagisa’s bad timing skill and Rei’s and Rin’s abrupt interruption.

He flipped open his cell phone to call the trio, only to find that he got a message unread from Rin. With almost a dreading feeling, Haruka opened the message and felt his blood run down his face.

_“We decided to have lunch together somewhere Makoto and you can’t find us. Go spend some time and talk about your issue with him. You have one day left before the wedding. Rin.”_

Haruka wanted to crawl into a deep, dark hole, and die.

_‘What_ issue _? What_ issue _you’re talking about, Rin?’_ Haruka closed his cell phone and took a deep breath before he could actually face-palmed himself in front of Makoto. Because then Makoto would ask a lot of questions and Haruka was not in the mood to deal with that. Taking another shaky breath to control his nerves and making sure his face remained expressionless, Haruka slowly turned to look at his ex-husband. But before he could say anything, Makoto was already beside him at the counter, and was smiling at the worker.

“Miss, can we leave his purchase here for a few hours? We’ll come and pick it up before the closing hour. Please?” He put on his warm, winning smile that he knew would persuade anyone to agree with him. The smile won the girl, and Haruka watched with unwelcome jealousy at the way she smiled back prettily at Makoto and nodded her head.

Then the brunette turned to look back at Haruka, causing Haruka to swiftly look away. He realized that Makoto actually became a little tensed, before the brunette’s hand reached out to hold onto his arm.

“Rei just messaged me and said the three of them are going to have lunch and spend the rest of the day by themselves,” Haruka looked up at Makoto, and his heart got stuck in his throat by the way Makoto’s green eyes became softer and a lot more similar to his Makoto, “So how about lunch, together?”

* * *

 

Their lunch, surprisingly, wasn’t as awkward as how Haruka thought it would be.

The two of them had walked out from the bridal shop after leaving behind Makoto’s numbers to the counter girl, just in case if they had to return there to take back the suit earlier than the closing hour. When Makoto asked him where he wanted to eat, Haruka just shrugged his shoulders and looked away. He tried his best to ignore Makoto and his whole existence, being there just beside him – where Makoto belonged, where Makoto would always belong – but not his.

In the end, Makoto decided to pick a western restaurant which was not really far from the bridal shop. They ordered their lunch and Makoto turned to look at him a contemplating expression on his face, before he started their conversation with a simple topic; about the opening of a new swimming centre close to Haruka’s working place.

At first, Haruka was a bit taken aback that Makoto kept track of his working place and activities, but then it was Makoto, so Haruka shouldn’t even be surprised about Makoto’s ability to mother-hen people. They kept talking – or rather, Makoto did the talking and Haruka did the listening – about their lives, fortunately managed to avoid reminiscing their pasts together and saying anything about their own feeling. Haruka felt that this was nice; it was nice to have Makoto close to him again, as his best friend, as his other half who read him through his eyes, as the one Makoto had always been to Haruka. Although it was only for a day, Haruka was grateful enough to be given a chance to sit down and listen to Makoto talking about his experience cooking a new French cuisine he watched on television.

By the time they stopped conversing and checked on the time, the two of them was shocked to see that it was already near 4. They paid the bills and hurriedly walked out of the restaurant, back to the bridal shop.

“I hope they haven’t closed the shop yet,” Makoto said as he laughed, walking side by side with Haruka, and Haruka uncomfortably put both of his hands into his coat’s pockets, nodding his head.

“Hopefully.” From the corner of his eyes, Haruka saw Makoto’s staring eyes softened at him. He wanted to ask why; was it because Makoto missed him, or was it because Makoto was reliving their memories in his head. But in the end, Haruka just looked down, and tried to stop his hand from reaching out and grab Makoto’s like how he used to when they were still together. His hands clenched themselves inside of his pockets, and Haruka’s blue eyes turned half-lidded at the thought.

The bridal shop was not far from their distance, when Haruka suddenly felt it.

Wide eyes, Haruka reached out a hand to the sky and felt the raindrops against his palm. He heard Makoto gasped beside him, but made no action to look at the brunette. They should’ve been more prepared for the bad weather, Haruka mused. However, the rains had always managed to soothe all Haruka’s miseries – Makoto was the first option, but since Makoto wasn’t there anymore, Haruka had to take what was left for him – so this wasn’t really a bad thing.

“Ahh, I didn’t bring my umbrella. So now we have to run for it, okay?”

Haruka was about to nod his head, although he was thinking that they would still be soaked by the moment they reached the shop, when he realized it. Makoto had taken off his trench coat, and covered both of their heads with it. His coat was large enough to cover them both, and Haruka turned to look at Makoto with wide eyes.

“Ready…” Haruka’s blue eyes were wide as they looked at Makoto, who was smiling at him with his eyes closed, “… Haru-chan?”

_“ Haruuuu, how many times should I tell you? You’d catch a cold if you keep playing in the rain-”_

_“ Ahh, it’s raining, Haru-chan, in the summer. I wonder if that is because the rain missed you too-”_

_“Haruka… Nanase Haruka.” Haruka’s eyes were wide as they stared at Makoto, who was kneeling down on one knee, and his hands were holding onto a box of silver ring. The umbrella in Haruka’s hand was shaken slightly, due to the trembles Haruka felt going through his whole body. They were just outside of Haruka’s house in Iwatobi; Haruka had gone out to get Makoto an umbrella when he realized the brunette had been standing and watching him from the outside. He wanted to scold Makoto so much, because it was raining quite heavily and Makoto had an entrance exam for the university that he wanted a few days afterward._

_Makoto shouldn’t let himself get sick, because he needed to ace that examination, and because that was Haruka’s job to get sick and Makoto’s job was to take care of him._

_But Haruka was halted in his steps when he was only a few feet away from Makoto, because the brunette suddenly kneeled down and took away all his breaths, took them away like how rainy days always did to Haruka, took them all away harsher, quicker, and a lot more exhilarating like how Makoto had always done to Haruka-_

Haruka was completely, undeniably, speechless.

Makoto only offered him another smile, his green eyes seemingly managed to read Haruka again, and Haruka couldn’t get himself to breathe anymore. He wanted to live in that moment; he wanted to live in their memories, in Makoto, in what he couldn’t have anymore, and all that they had lost.

_And Haruka wanted all of them back_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update.
> 
> Anyway, a bit explanation for the chapter. It this more suitable for Rei to confront Makoto about his relationship with Haru since Rei does have that streak - remember the time he confronted Rin at Samezuka Academy? Yes. Nagisa's role and characteristic didn't change much in this chapter, but his role is very important for the next one :) I hope I managed to nail Rin correctly, because he seemed to have softened down in Free ES, but my reference for Rin is probably the first season. Gou and Mikoshiba, I have to admit, are a little bit hard to write.
> 
> An OC, Yuki. I thought of putting Kisumi as the plus one, but I don't want to destroy the original canon plot.
> 
> Haruka might be a little bit OOC, but maybe it was because I am writing mostly in Haruka's POV. This is the thought of a man, who is still in love with his ex-husband, but unable to voice out his feelings. So all I did was to describe all the angsts and heartbreaks. I hope I didn't kill his character D: Haruka's panic attack at Gou's dinner was probably uncalled for, but then again, Haruka is very good in suppressing emotions. But when his emotions got out of control and backfired on him, panic attack is actually a pretty reasonable shit to happen. :l
> 
> Anyway, enough with my rambles,
> 
> Please review. :)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I know Haruka seems a bit out of character, but I just can't – strangles myself – and I hope you love the plot. This could actually be a one-shot, but I'll decide that based on the aftereffect of this chapter. – smiles –
> 
> Please review.


End file.
